Stop Blaming Your Genes

I was watching the game show called Wheel of Fortune and a contestant made the following statement “Genes are your history, not your destiny.”  I was only half way listening and believe that part of what she was talking about applied to nutrition.  To me that statement was true in a broader way. 

While some are legitimate so many things are unjustly being blamed on our genes.  In some instances it is used as an excuse to justify bad behavior and life style choices. 

For the most part, it is still and always will be about choices.  Choose wisely.  

Marriage of Equals

While posting to an earlier blog I was reminded of a line in Downton Abbey: money and position are less important than strength and passion. Those who know me well won’t be surprised that thoughts and definitions and meaning behind that phrase began spinning through my mind.

·         One’s position or title does not provide much comfort when you are alone.  A room full of your peers or in a preferred social setting does not necessarily compare with other things that truly enrich your life like family, fun with friends who knew you “way back when” and appreciate your time with them vs what you can provide for them.

·         Money can buy “things” that provide comfort on the outside while feeling extremely empty inside. Things are not important but people are.  One cannot place a price tag on a friendly smile, a compassionate hug, the flower or rock that your child or grandchild brings to you as a gift with the bright light of love beaming from their eyes.

·         Strength can include physical, emotional, spiritual, intelligence, wit and character.  One’s appearance and physical strength fade so I believe that the others are where the real value lies for the long term and bring much joy and satisfaction.  When my husband and I share a laugh, it is a priceless moment. Sharing the same religion and values is the greatest foundation that supports all aspects of a committed marriage relationship. 

·         Passion includes the obvious physical attraction and “activity”, but more so how one’s life is lived and loved, one’s commitment, and uncompromising values.

With all of these words to ponder, I feel the most important is to acknowledge and accept the balance required for a lasting, worthwhile, relationship of values and the truest love. Marriage is a balancing act of equals and in my option the equals are in strength and passion for a fulfilling life and a life lived well. 

Sisters and Friends

Just as blessings and what seems like curses come at times so do the tornadoes of emotions between sisters. Friends can provide support and voice of reason when there are family disruptions.  Our mind and heart does battle and there are no winners but plenty of scars.

Many of such thoughts came to mind while watching Downton Abbey and drama of words between two sisters, Edith and Mary.  Awful, hurtful, angry words were exchanged with Edith packing and leaving the family home. 

Mary who is historically cold, spiteful, and insensitive finally understands the damaging situation that she created and the ultimate hurt that she caused. She is hurting too, quite unhappy, and genuinely wants to apologize, which in itself is truly rare, but does not know how.

Edith, the timid, kinder sister who has experienced more sadness than any of the family, finally found her voice and stood up for herself against her sister for the first time. She also actually had the courage to leave.

It was actually Edith who made the successful effort at reconciliation plus she also had the best lines of this episode: “In the end you are my sister…  Our shared memories are more than our mutual dislike.”

That last part of her dialogue sums it up perfectly.  Shared memories are priceless and valued considerably more than the temporary dislikes or words or actions seen or experienced between family members.  At least it is for me. 

Two favored books "Jane Eyre" and "Behold Your Queen"

When asked by a much favored author DiAnn Mills, whose blog I follow, about any favorite books then I will gladly and genuinely respond. I must say that two books come to my mind immediately and are proudly owned.  Each is a story of an orphaned young girl who ultimately finds happiness but not on the route one would expect.  Each has a personal “of note” for me and one includes a spanking with my eighth grade history book.

The first is “Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte.  This will always be a favorite and is as real for today as it was when published in 1847.  Jane was a girl and woman who persevered,  who did not have a glamorous life, did not compromise her values for love, and she did get the man that she loved however different  the path it took.   

·         Of note here is that while reading the book in my youth I did not hear by mother calling my name to do something and as a punishment was spanked with my history book and I was forced to return Jane Eyre before finished reading it which was the true punishment.  A few years ago I was reminded of that incident when my mother "unnecessarily" apologized for the incident.  It is true I did not hear her calling me but it was on a Saturday which was a regular chores day for us and I was to complete them prior to reading.  Shortly after that fondly remembered conversation I bought my own copy which can be read at any time, for as many times as desired, and now with another memory of my mother too.

The second book is my absolute favorite which is actually “the book” that sparked and fueled my desire for reading, “Behold Your Queen” by Gladys Malvern published in 1951.  I did not realize at the time that it was based on Esther in the Bible which is quite ignorant on my part even at 14 years of age.  Then and now I clearly recall my attachment to the story of an orphan girl who had to conceal her identity, wins a beauty contest,  wins the love of a king and saves her nation.  In the process she listened to her elders,  her mentors younger and older than herself, willingly learned what was necessary to give and receive love, and keep her faith and values without compromise.

·         On a personal note, I was in a bidding war on eBay to purchase an edition of this highly favored book.  I had lost in two previous attempts to acquire a copy but an answer to prayer prevailed and at the right price, I became an owner.

Thanks for the opportunity to share my thoughts on these two much loved books. Reading makes a difference and in the words of Mark Twain “If a man doesn’t read good books, he has no advantage of the one who can’t.”  Read, read, and then read some more.  

Trees in parking lots

I was watching a Hallmark movie and a line caught my attention and interest: “You look as confused as a pine tree in a parking lot.” A couple of memories come to mind, each a contradiction to nature and progress.

Trees are tied to our oxygen, shade, leisure and in number of other uses from construction to crafts.  Land is used up in the name of progress at the expense of some nature, particularly trees.  Some developers replace the trees lost in the process with other trees carefully grown by commercial growers.  If what was destroyed was carefully reused perhaps thoughts and opinions would be different.

On the way to work one morning I was passing a commercial concern of concrete, equipment, heavy trucks and a railroad line down the side of the property and in the middle of the “yard” was a tree with a deer standing in its shade.  The tree and deer was a beautiful sight, both of which were a contradiction to their immediate area.  Each had little chance of survival in those surroundings.  However, the business provided jobs and together they fueled economic growth.

My youngest sister worked for The Federal Reserve Bank when it was located downtown.  In the parking area was a huge, beautiful, majestic tree that had been there a 100 or so years plus a few benches and possibly a table. The employees enjoyed their lunch and shared time together many times over the years until additional parking space was needed.  There were many groups of people who tried to have that tree saved but ultimately the tree was sacrificed in the name of progress. Now even that older, beautiful historic building is no longer used but a huge, quite grand facility has been erected a few miles away which of course required even more land area.  

Where is the balance or the end?