Dreams of Joy by Lisa See

On impulse, a young woman (Joy) runs away to the “home” country of her parents which happens to be China in the 50s because of a secret about her birth that she learns after her father’s suicide. The secret: Her mother(May) is her aunt, her aunt (Pearl) is the mother that she has known and loved as such, your birth father is an artist and revolutionary for the current China, and both women seemed to have loved him.  She feels betrayal and at the same time unwanted. Her “Tiger” nature takes over and she chooses to run away from what she knows in search of her birth father and what she may contribute in her support of the China that she thinks that she knows.  

Please allow an aside here. As in real life, it is not the genes that always make a mother and you can have multiple women who mother you in different ways throughout your life. If you have seen the movie or read the book “The Secret Life of Bees” by Sue Monk Kidd, you may be able to relate to my opinion.

The draw for me in this book is of course, the historical significance of what was termed as the “new” China in the 1950s with their control of communication, restricted mobility, and the censor of information, all woven into this novel.  Segments of citizens became part of communal living which is has purposes of propaganda and what was considered by the initial inhabitants as a freedom lifestyle. The inhabitants work from can-to-can’t (way past can’t) even during the famine because they are told too, and without revolt.  Some of the ill family members are buried alive to save on food rations since they can no longer contribute to China, there is even “swap food” which is a baby swap so that surviving family members do not cannibalize their own child.  They believe the lies about what is happening outside the commune. Starvation does make one compliant.

The characters are both forgettable and unforgettable. The ending which includes the escape plot along with the unexpected last minute drama is well written and the story ends as it should.  Bottom line, the characters are well developed and yes, the characters “find themselves” and Pearl discovers that her true country is the USA and that it is her choice to make after all.

This book follows the story that began in the book “Shanghai Girls”, also by Lisa See, which I would also recommend.  In this story continued from above:

The mother (Pearl) forges to China and has no intention of returning without her daughter.  For the mother, it is not the China from which she escaped and in every regard, is worse.  Even though China born, she immigrated to the US and therefore is always under suspicion and will struggle like her daughter.  She has her own identity crisis with which to deal.

Commune living for Joy was voluntary, includes famine, a “red” husband who treats her poorly which includes infidelity,  and yet she is considered totally at fault by your adopted country, the in-laws, and fellow peasants, even those who have befriended you.  They really have no choice but to victimize you or they will be subject to the same. What you thought you knew is so wrong and on every level.  How will you escape, can you leave before your baby daughter becomes “swap food”,  can your mother and aunt find you in time or will you starve to death in the commune, in a country that you decide is not yours after all?

The mother and father orchestrate an escape using his notoriety as an artist and it his art that is almost their undoing. The aunt works on the ploy to get them to Hong Kong which allows for the ultimate escape. 

Having read both “Shanghai Girls”, “Dreams of Joy” and “On Gold Mountain”, it put life into what it was like in China and the how/why/whatit takes to get and choose to stay in this country.  The choice comes at great cost and I am not just talking about money.  The sacrifice made cannot be ignored or measured. 

The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton

Imagine being four years old with no memory of who you are and are left standing alone on the dock where you have exited the ship that brought you to Australia from England.  You are discovered by the dock foreman and are taken in by him and his wife pending finding your family.  Fast forward. You have been raised as a beloved daughter with younger sisters and at 21 years of age you learn that you are not who you think you are and the “parents” have no answers. They can offer nothing more than the little white suitcase you had at the shipping dock. You are confused and have no real sense of belonging. 

The mystery of her mother, etc.does get solved but by her granddaughter who also finds her own path in the process.  

The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh

This is by far one of my favorite books read in the last year. Every character brought something of value to the story even the ending seemed appropriate for that time in life of the main character.

Imagine 32 foster homes by the age of ten, your case worker and others think that you are mentally impaired when in actuality no one made an effort to ask a question in the classroom or make an inquiry beyond being terse, no friends, and even the adoption that you thought would happen didn’t and your decision to create a resolve that might bring about the adoption certainly did not go as planned. 

When she aged out of foster care, she literally lived on her own in a park, among the nature she adored and found sanctuary. She learned about and found great solace in flowers, their meanings which was used to build a life as a much favored florist but did not necessarily bring her happiness. 

She found love but since it was a foreign entity to her, she could not accept it, understand it or the passion filled consequences of her actions.  She desperately tried motherhood but thought of herself as a failure or that it just wasn’t meant for her. Only after she gave up what could have been her future did she realize the meaning or importance of what was thought lost to her. 

She seemed to live a life of confusion except when working with or the discussion of flowers and their meanings as she understood them to be. When she learned about other definitions for her beloved flowers, she began to question her judgment. She had an established clientele and received regular referrals.  It seems that her recommendations did have some much desired results for her clients, hence her initial concern.  Alas and as it turns out she had no need for concern after all.

No, this is not a totally depressing book. Please switch your mental gears to allow your heart to listen for more as you come to understand her life choices that were built and developed through traumatic events. These shaped her life and eventually led to being able to reach for “humans” over flowers, to a life that she just might be able to accept and want, plus  equally important,  to the three people who will really, really love her and were just waiting for her to decide when the time was right. 

Gossip is Murder

I keep being reminded of conversations shared with my both of my sons and their comments which matured over time. Being boys and coming from their mother, these “talks” were usually fairly brief, to the point and for personal reasons they are coming to the forefront of my mind now.  The comments about murder in the first two were from a sermon that a dear friend of mine shared that she had heard at her church. I was a teenager at the time so as one would imagine, it made quite an impression on me.  I wish that I could recall the specific Bible scriptures but alas I was not the note taker that I am now when in the 8^th and 9^th grade.

1.       Those who gossip have murderous intentions. While they are trying to promote their cause, make them look better than they are, and are trying to influence the thoughts of another, what they are really doing is killing what is known about the person being maligned.

2.       When people lie or stretch the truth they are guilty of murder or at the least attempted murder.  They are doing their best to destroy the reputation of someone in an effort to build up themselves to others. Their actions can actually draw attention to their jealousy or insecurity or need for power or control.  You don’t build yourself up by tearing someone else down.  By putting a target on someone’s back, are you really trying to redirect attention from your own self-interests, disappointments or failures?

3.       If people are ignorant enough not to look for the facts behind the blah-blah-blah, don’t waste your time trying to convince people of the truth because all they may want is the blah-blah-blah anyway. 

4.       Some people don’t care enough about you to know the truth so walk away.  Blah-blah-blah is just that, blah-blah-blah to the people who know you best and to those who really love you.

My goodness, these were a long time ago but I guess that the truth really is timeless and sadly, the items above continue to have no boundaries for some people.

On the bright side, I did find some scriptures to support some of these meandering reflections. The one that speaks to me is James 3:8 which is true that no man can tame the tongue but ........ my God can.  

Pr 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.  

Pr 26:28 A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin. 

James 3:8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 

Pr 17:4 A wicked doer giveth heed to false lips; and a liar giveth ear to a naughty tongue. 

Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel

The interwoven love story that takes the phrase “till death do us part” to a whole new level as it relates to a tradition within a culture that requires the youngest daughter to remain unmarried for the sole purpose of caring for the mother until the mother’s death.  Birth order may have its privileges but as experienced by the characters here it could be a lifetime of regrets, misery, adultery and lost opportunity to marry for love.

Three sisters each controlled by the whims of their mean spirited mother with the truth behind the mother’s driven “drama” only discovered after her death.   The truth does not excuse her actions IN ANY WAY but shows how people do retaliate against others who are directly and indirectly related through no fault of their own. Tita, the main character was hated by her own mother from the moment of birth LITERALLY.  But for the sake of loving cook in the family kitchen who picked Tita up from the kitchen floor Tita would have died. Her life continued to be nurtured in the kitchen by that loving cook

I like Tita, the main character, and felt for her during the entire story. Imagine falling in love but being forbid to marry him, your mother convinces him to marry another daughter and then being made to prepare the marriage feast including the wedding cake.  The effect of the tears that fall into the food has a most unusual effect on the guests, particularly the bride with publicly and privately physically humiliating results. 

Who knew that the tears fallen into a recipe could cause such emotional and sometimes physical reactions by those later in the story who partook the food which included depression and melancholy, suicide, one of the sisters was so overcome that she discarded her clothing while running away from home and literally rode off into the sunset on the back of a horse with a stranger, the entire life of the main character revolves around food. 

Yes, this book includes relationships, what initially appeared to be star-crossed lovers, food and the strange effects it had on people which included life choices, and an ending that one would expect that only a seasoned author could devise.   This is the first book by this author which was produced into a movie with both the book and movie receiving many awards and much recognition.

On a personal note it included recipes with detailed descriptions.