She may be leaving us but ……..

My mother called earlier today and is beside herself with anxiety and soon to be grief. Her sister, our beloved Aunt Dude (Julia Evelyn Francis) is transitioning into hospice care. She has been battling cancer for many years and now our final days with her are upon us.  She is and has been a faithful Christian Woman of God and has said many times over the last few months that she is tired and ready to go to her heavenly home. We are never ready to let go of those we love, even our family members who have been so dedicated to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ through words, actions and deed but have endured many years of cancer related treatments, pain and discomfort.

Growing up, many a summer my sisters and I had some of our most memorable moments with her at her kitchen table, playing outside on their multiple acre homestead out in the country which included what we thought was the most awesome swing ever made from an old feed sack tied with a rope attached to a big tree near the porch, and I will never forget the "singings" at their church and sister churches and the yearly ones at the Oak Grove decoration over Memorial Day weekend. We wanted to see her immediately after crossing the Arkansas state line but visited with our grandparents in town first.  In fact, my mom and dad would ALWAYS SAY “I’ll whip the first one of you kids that asks to go to Aunt Dude’s while we are visiting with your Grandma and Grandpa.”   We did not understand that Mom wanted to visit with her Mom and Dad first. We just knew that Aunt Dude was a short 30 minutes away (which seems like an eternity once you are finally in the car again).  Our cousins were actually our best friends when we were growing up.  We could not afford to talk on the phone often but we sure wrote letters on a regular basis.

I learned to cook by watching her every move in the kitchen and even churned butter which was a real treat for this city girl.  She made the best biscuits EVER and could whip out a meal for her brood and our family faster than most do now with all of the modern conveniences at our disposal. We could hardly wait to get to her house to shell peas or anything else from her garden that she “saved” especially for us.  She always remembered how much I loved her canned pickles and would save me a jar. Even last September she gave me a jar along with some squash relish that also has no equal on any shelf anywhere.

Her sweet spirit, beautiful voice in song, unlimited words of wisdom and support, contagious  laughter, her ability to tell a joke like no one else and her soft spoken heart-warming Arkansas drawl do not have a match here on earth. Her capacity for love and forgiveness seems limitless and she always had time for me and to talk with me. 

Her reward in heaven will be greater than our grief but for now it is hard to accept or acknowledge the fact that her days here with us are at a minimum. Praise God for the life she lead and praying for the comfort that only God can provide to those of us who remain.

I am not sure when we will leave for Arkansas for a visit while Aunt Dude is still aware of her surroundings. She is naturally heavily mediated to help with the pain.  My mom was crying so desperately and is not in a position to make any decisions at the moment. My mother is what one would call a worrier and her anxiety level is on overdrive, as one would imagine. I am equally concerned about my mom and her emotional well-being. She and Aunt Dude talk almost daily. My mom is 80 years and is also on the decline in a few areas.  This loss will take its toll on her as does the recent news that her youngest brother has cancer with the treatment as yet undetermined. 

Yes, this message is long but my heart is full and words keep spilling from my fingers.

Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank

Yes, it has finally happened.  Russia and our USA push “the” buttons which lead to the physical destruction of the majority of each country and surrounding areas.  Imagine life without electricity, telephone communication, gasoline for your cars, batteries, and inadequate water and food supplies.  Add this to the basic nature of man, that being survival and at whatever costs which will not be limited to robbery, theft, murder, violence at every level plus the effects of radiation and how to limit further exposure.  The crash of 1929 pales in comparison; there are no banks LITERALLY and cash has become meaningless. 

Imagine no President, Vice President, etc., key military and intelligence personnel,  and the responsibilities falling onto a cabinet member who just happened NOT to be Washington, DC, a major metropolis or military establishment that was bombed. Imagine no longer being a super power but more of a territory and even that cannot be confirmed by any degree at the moment. Imagine being in a somewhat remote area which has not been adversely affected by the H-bomb or direct fallout.  However, someone still needs to be in charge of making decisions and establishing order and making new laws from which to govern.

Yes, we won but at what cost? The recovery would be 1000 years in the making.

The countries today are no longer limited to Russia and USA but this book is absolutely relevant and is highly recommended.  Original copies of this book may be difficult to find and were not available on my NOOK but lessons plans and related study notes are available.  I borrowed a copy from my friend and fellow book group reader Mari Davis and will be returning it to her at BPW book group next month.  I can understand her reluctance to share this copy from 1959 but it would be worthwhile to find a copy for own personal enjoyment.

I enjoyed every page of this book and particularly the writing style.  Keeping in mind that it was written 1959, I was thrilled to miss the gutter talk, body stripping, and literal violence.  I know what is happening without those types of details.  Why clutter and pollute our minds with the unnecessary!

The Amish Bride by Mindy Starns Clark and Leslie Gould

Each of us can recall the time we thought we knew better than our parent(s) as to what and whom our future should include.  We placed our own interpretation on events and conversations but believed them to be the “only” truth or possibility. A young girl (Ella) is somewhat determined to force a future which includes plans to join a church primarily to marry a young man she has known most of her life.  She is a Mennonite and he is Amish.  Her goals include going to school to become a baker and has dreams of owning her own store but will becoming Amish be the beginning of the end those dreams? Circumstances create a distance between them from Pennsylvania to Indiana and they appear to be determined to be together.

This book speaks to a family and a history that does not become clearly understood and questions are left hanging for decades until a diary written in some kind of code by a great-grandmother can be deciphered. At the request of Ella’s grandmother, she takes the diary to discover its secrets.  What she learns in the process opens her hear to understand other things about herself, the questionable infant death of an unbeknownst uncle (her grandmother’s only son), and also her own mother which leads Ella to finally forgive her absentee father. 

Ella’s future changes, however, she does realize all of her goals in ways she did not see coming AT ALL. 

Being “Plain” does not mean being simple minded or boring. It does however include commitment to God, family unity, and being equally yoked.  Personally, I believe the same and I am neither Amish nor Mennonite.  Each religion has a written reference. For me it is the Bible so feel free to check out the love chapters, more commonly known as the Corinthians.

Dear Abby

People, young and old alike, lost someone precious today: the original Dear Abby. She had millions of followers and there may be some who may not realize that she took to task the shoddy advice column of the San Francisco Chronicle back in 1956.  This stay at home mom took ownership of the concerns expressed in the letters to that newspaper and how fortunate we are that the paper recognized her talents which resulted in the column that we know today.

Most of my dearest friends grew up reading Dear Abby and it may have been one of the first articles we read when opening our newspaper. Her twin sister we grew to love as Ann Landers.  Each used pseudonyms but in every other way they were the real deal in my opinion.

As a young woman and even today the articles are relevant and impart both common sense wisdom and words to the wise.  I realize that the “Abby” of long ago has morphed onto someone else and I am glad that current media has not chosen to forego the column.   I will enjoy it while it lasts.

By the way, “my” Dear Abby is conveniently located in the Houston Chronicle Star section which also includes the Jumble, Daily Crossword and Hints from Heloise which are also some of my personal favorites.  Even though retired, I like to keep my mind working on SOMETHING.  Life is good and may God bless the memory and be with the family of our beloved Dear Abby who in real life is known as Pauline Phillips.

Fresh Start and New Beginnings

January always brings to mind fresh starts and opportunities, new beginnings and moving past the disappointments from the previous year and attempting, where possible, to correct the whatever and lastly, but more importantly, to acknowledge or thank someone for something every single day.

When reviewing the news from last year, it served as a reminder of those who can no longer share their life with us in the present.  However, we can share in the joy of their accomplishments and what they have contributed to our lives in the form of family, food, fashion, fun, or being female. 

On a personal note, I was told by a beloved family member and much later actually read the same thing that the way you start the beginning of your year is the way you will spend the rest of that year. Hence, I begin my new year with family and friends and have for nearly 30-years.  My New Year’s Eve and the previous two days are spent feeding one of my passions … cooking.  On New Years Day I serve the same menu and make many, many pies to use as gifts. (This year I made 36 pies.)  As family and friends arrive, I request that each child followed by each family select a pie as my gift to them for deciding to begin their year with me, in my home. Any remaining pies will accompany our shared meal as the “grazing” period begins sometime around 1 p.m. Before retirement I rented a moonwalk which was setup in the backyard with easy viewing from a kitchen window and the back patio. One of the men might bring horse shoes or washers to setup near the moomwalk.  Yes, I choose to spend my New Years Day with people that I love, admire, and absolutely enjoy/relish/covet their company. 

How we spend our time and who we spend it with is a choice that I readily make each day and count each person as an added benefit/gift to my life.  We encounter enough that we cannot control both personally and professionally.  I freely admit to loving life and value each part of my life from the gene pool to zip codes. 

This is a new year, so enjoy your life, make an appointment with yourself to have fun, and exercise wisdom to make choices that create value to your life and the lives that you impact or encounter each day in 2013.  Share yourself.

To Remember in December

The fall season and early days of winter have always been my favorite time of year.  The wind carries the sounds of change away from those hot South Texas summer days and muggy evenings into the season of laughter, merriment and sincere appreciation of the Christmas season that I will share with family and special friends.

Did you know that Christmas Day has been celebrated on December 25^th by the Western (Roman Catholic) Church since 336 A.D.? Did you know that the exchanging of gifts and decorating trees are tied to winter traditions and various celebrations and festivals dating back over 4000 years? Did you know that the 12 Days of Christmas may tie back to a 12-day festival celebrated by the Mesopotamians and that hanging of garland dates back to the Ancient Romans in their celebration each year in honor of their god Saturn?

Our Jewish friends celebrate Hanukkah and Kwanzaa honors the heritage of African-Americans. December can be both a memorable and memory making month for all of us.

Yes, I have been reading again and am of the opinion that though our religious beliefs, values and traditions may greatly vary that at our core (our center) we are one and united in our right, our privilege, and freedom to believe differently.

During this most blessed time of year, share yourself in time or charitable gifts for the benefit of others, many of whom are unemployed for the first time.  Send some handwritten notes to those who have added value to your life now or in times past and to our soldiers. Help a local food bank. Everyday there are missed opportunities to say thank you: someone at work, someone assisted you during a shopping trek, your hair dresser, at your nail salon, your church, and the list goes on and on.  Open your eyes, minds and hearts as windows into the life of another. 

This holiday season is celebrated in so many ways that it is no wonder to me that smiles alight most faces and the spirit of giving abounds.

Best wishes to all of you this Christmas season.

My personal take on “It’s a Wonderful Life”

Tonight I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" which is a wonderful reminder of the people in our lives that make our life worth living.   The movie causes much reflection plus George Bailey is a banker as was I for so many, many years.

Life is not about what you do not have or can no longer do but about what you do with God's gifts which come in many forms, many of which you may not realize as gifts.

As I said, in the movie George Bailey is a banker which is a reminder of my banking career.  It afforded me the opportunity to work “with” people in an industry that for many years was held in high regard. These people were customers, non-customers and co-workers.  The industry may have changed over the course of my 34 years in banking but my appreciation for “people” in various stages of one’s personal or professional career has not wavered.  The gifts for me during my 34 years in banking were the people and related conversations which must number in the 1000s.

Yes, I look at my career in banking as a gift but perhaps not in the way that comes to mind. The income that grew over time afforded wonderful vacations, a great wardrobe which includes 100+ pairs of shoes (most of which I am selling or donating to the non-profit Dress For Success) and a nice home.  Yes these are secular but don’t give up on me yet.  The gift part here is that my husband and I have no debt, in part because of my day job as a banker. 

God granted me the knowledge and wherewithal to become a banker, the tenacity to stay in an industry that survived the 1980s and to reach a point that leaving the industry was the best decision for me and opened an opportunity for someone with the goals and energy of my younger self. 

My family is also a gift, some through the nature of my birth and some through choice such as my husband which resulted in my being included in his huge clan, not a loser in the bunch. 

My freedom here in the USA which includes freedom of religion is a given.  Both have received time in previous blogs AND it still holds true, hence the mention.

Getting back to the movie calls to mind the inscription made by Clarence, the lovable, capable angel in the story in the book that he had, “Tom Sawyer”, which  reads “No man is a failure if he has friends.”  I must agree and must add family to the mix. It was after all the loving wife Mary who contacted the friends that come to the “financial” rescue of her husband, George the banker.

By the way, there are a lot of bad bankers like Old Man Potter in the story which is an understatement.  Just watch the news. However, there are still come good bankers around and I will gladly make that referral.  I also gladly share what I have learned over my working career as a Business Banker.  Just give me a call, send me an email, or post your question to my Facebook page.

I will stay tuned for you…………

IN FLANDERS FIELD BY JOHN MCCRAE

A surgeon and military officer serving for Canada was so moved and haunted by his experience that he handwrote this poem on a simple notepad during a period when he was expected “to rest”. He endured and his team accomplished more than thought humanly possible.  It was through his anguish of losing a friend who was also a former student and by needs presiding over the makeshift funeral/burial that these memorable words fell from his heart, through his fingers to a piece of paper that we have this poem that has been learned/memorized by students and citizens alike.  

To think that the view of poppies growing in ditches of Europe that had experienced so much bloodshed pricked his heart is such a way.

To think that he was so affected by 17 days of service that a poem was handwritten, disregarded and discarded, collected by someone equally touched as well as persistent enough to garner  an approval for publication even after being rejected by a newspaper before finally being presented to publishing media that “did have the intelligence” to recognize the significance of these written words.

How appropriate today that my special Canadian friend Dolores Morse posted this for all to enjoy which gives me the opportunity to share “the rest of the story” with each of you.  Here is that much loved poem.

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

November remembrances and sacrifices

As an American woman I value every freedom my citizenship affords me and maintain a respect for political leaders, however vehemently I may oppose the philosophy and ideas of many currently in office and most that were re-elected, much to my chagrin.  The fact that I can speak freely or put my thoughts to print is directly tied to the successes and sacrifices made by the several million who have served or are currently serving in our military.

In fact, my opinion is not so different from the women behind and in support of our founding fathers.  In the book Founding Mothers by Cokie Roberts there were some memorable moments shared in the book .  In her “Toast to America and her Friends” written by Sarah Livingston Jay, wife of John Jay, the first Chief Justice of the United States she lists 13 “toasts” and here are the ones that speak to me and their respective number from that list: “… (4) General Washington and the American Army, ... (7) The Memory of the Patriots who have fallen for their Country-May kindness be shown to their Widows and Children, …(9) Gratitude to our Friends and Moderation to our Enemies, ...(10) May all our Citizens be Soldiers, and all of our Soldiers Citizens, …(12) May our Country be always prepared for War, but disposed to Peace, and (13) Liberty and Happiness to all Mankind.”  This was written over 200-years ago but it still applies today.

Today is November 11^th Veterans Day. Never fail to acknowledge the significance of the date which honors our military veterans in this United States of America. Especially important is the fact that it celebrates the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended WWI at the 11^th hour of the 11^th day of the 11^th month of 1918.

Today in 1921 was the dedication of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery. The bodies of three “unknown” American soldiers killed on foreign soil are buried here: one killed in France in WWI, one from WWII and one from Korea. The remains from one interred in 1984 from the Vietnam War was eventually identified and removed. With the advances in DNA, etc. it was decided by the Pentagon in 1999 there would be no new remains placed in the memorial. 

          Yes, this day calls for remembrances and of the sacrifices it took to get us here in our time and place in history.  My uncles faithfully served in WWII and Korea, my best friend was a Marine in Vietnam, many of my fellow high school classmates also served in Vietnam (one was a POW for many years), my wonderful brother Leon served 20 years in our US Army, my sister Rebecca’s husband served in our US Air Force, my sister Julia’s husband spent ten (10) years in our US Army, my ex-husband who is the father of my sons served in our US Navy and my cousin Earl served 20 years in the National Guard.  These branches of the military are proudly represented in my family. 

I am equally proud of the service by others in their commitment to our freedom and to the opportunity for the freedoms they fostered for the innocents in other countries as well. 

If you have thanked or revered a veteran today GOD BLESS YOU, more importantly GOD BLESS THE USA.

2012 Election calls for special prayer for my beloved USA

Please pray that God will send someone to witness to Obama and soften his heart to seek God in making decisions for our country, for the sanctity of life and marriage as proclaimed by God and to support Israel.  Make no mistake; God is still in charge, regardless of and in spite of who is President.  

When one truly believes it must be professed, not just possessed as a secret, and ones actions are in line accordingly and not politically motivated.

I did not support Obama in 2008 and certainly not in 2012.  I cannot support someone so against my Christian values, does not offer support to Israel “publicly” and not just during a President debate when cornered into answering, someone who does not provide for a strong military and the respective military intelligence, and someone who may not stop increasing our debt thereby making us hostage to a foreign power, repeal the socialist medicine known as “Obamacare”, immigration reform (not amnesty), AND ON AND ON.

Hopefully, he will do as he said in the acceptance speech and reach out to Romney to see how they can work together on some issues and reach across party lines in a cooperative effort.  I do not see integrity is this guy.  He may be a good father and provider for his family but has been a lousy President of the United States of America IN MY HUMBLE, CHRISTIAN, and REPUBLICAN OPINION.

May God Bless our United States of America!