Choices and Change

I was watching an enjoyable program called “Signed Sealed & Delivered” and heard a couple of lines that produced some thought:  1. Begin by doing the thing that scares you the most., 2.  He’s her sliver of light. Both of these brought one word to my mind immediately, Change.

Sometimes, in fact most of the time for me, change does begin with fear, fear of the unknown and unfamiliar.  The journey will not be like the preferred straight line but the things that can be learned along the way will just add to the journey.  Some specific examples come to mind that I would like to share.

As a long ago single parent I was afraid of just about everything which included freeways, roller coasters, long distance driving and freely talking with anyone that I had known for many years.  However, with two young sons I was determined that they learn new experiences that could be fun which of course included overcoming my fears in a few areas.

·         Roller coaster rides with my sons and my mother - She was screaming with her mouth closed so that her false teeth would not fall out.  My sons were laughing so hard at my mother that we all forgot about our fear. 

·         Chasing my youngest son Eric around the Swing Ride at Six Flags in Dallas - My mother was on one side, I was on the opposite side and my oldest son Jason was running interference as we each tried to catch Eric and “place” him on the ride.  At the conclusion of the ride, Eric wanted to get back in line to ride it again. We did.

·         Rafting in New Braunfels – Neither my mother nor I could swim. Her boss along with others said that we could not, should not even try, it was dangerous and that “women” could not do it without a man along to help us.  Twice the raft almost tipped over as we got in, lost the oars twice but managed to get them back in the raft, drowned my keys and my car would not start when we were ready to leave, but survived it all with huge belly laughs throughout that day and we had matching sunburns. We rafted together three more times in future years. 

·         Driving the 610 loop  and freeways in general – On a Saturday and with a full tank of gas, I left to make a day of driving for hours on the loop, Hwy 59 and I-45 until I felt calm.  

·         Long distance driving – I drove to visit family in Arkansas and to Indiana to visit with family as well starting after the one year anniversary of my divorce. 

My youngest son who became a roughneck in the oilfield shared and embellished our stories many times over the years. My oldest son may still have a discomfort of heights but at 40 years of age decided to marry and is now the father of a 14 month old son of his own. 

I have mentioned my mother in these memories.  She was single as well and we shared expenses to have fun making memories together for the four of us. My youngest son passed in 2005 at the age of 27 and my mom passed in 2014. My memories are a blanket of comfort.

The second line about being a sliver of light comes to mind every time I see my grandson or peruse the many pictures enjoyed between visits coupled with my son Jason’s smile. 

Closing thoughts brought on by the name of the program. Sign but do not seal your heart from possibilities plus what change(s) can and does/do bring.  Deliver love in words, actions and kind communications.