You Belong to the Blue Family

I generally avoid taking those quizzes that popup on Facebook or in my emails.  In fact I keep the Platform on Facebook turned off. Some people take those things so seriously and make what I feel are the most unusual comments, some quite heated, plus you have those who feel compelled to make other unnecessary comments  or replies and it drags on and on.  Thankfully it is easy to move on past their somewhat passionate responses to a simple quiz. 

However, I found one that caught my attention that did not require that I change my Facebook platform settings.  Oddly enough there was a time that every suit in my closet was blue and believe me when I say that I had many suits.  I am smiling at that memory.  Pardon me as I digress.  Anyway here are my results from playbuzz.com”

You belong to the blue color family! The color psychology quiz tells us that like those blue colors that you subconsciously most relate to, you're deep, comforting, emotional and naturally intuitive. You've always had a sixth sense or gut feeling that never leads you astray. Rely on your intuition; it will never fail you! But, you probably I generally avoid those quizzes that pop up on Facebook or received by email.  I deliberately keep the already know that. Others may perceive you as overly emotional, and you may even have a reputation for being a bit sensitive or touchy, but you actually just have an incredibly high emotional intelligence. You can be a bit melancholy at times, and you need time and space to recharge your emotional energies.

The Hours by Michael Cunningham

Prologue was of a death as was the ending of the book with several neurotics thrown into the middle. The characters existed in their life differently but really lived it similarly and gave it the same value. They did not really value life enough to make decisions to protect the quality of life they could possibly have had. Lots of mental weakness exists and I honestly could not find a character to like.

They are loved temporarily and they love in a temporary way as well. The word “temporary” best describes the book and thankfully the time needed to read it was just a temporary moment of my overall reading time. I can't even recall the characters. They truly are forgettable and yet I kept picking up the book to read. A great line in the book defines the characters as well as what the overall theme might be: “Better, really, to face the fin in the water than to live in hiding...”

The last two pages are the best part of the book, not because they were the last, but because what was written had the greater meaning and understanding than the entire book. 

Three of our BPW readers rated it an eight on a scale of one to ten with the ten being the highest praise.  For me that is a little high.  However, I liked the author’s writing style and it held my interest but I still cannot figure out why.   Good…no. Bad…not totally. Will I recommend it? Probably not.

Oh well, onto other reading options.  

Summer's List by Anita Higman

Three separate stories and each interwoven in the life of a young woman. Love of family is and was paramount to Summer Snow, the lead character in this sweet book. In fact, her grandmother saw it all and created a bucket list for her beloved granddaughter who cared for both of her parents until they passed. Then she purchased the bookstore from her grandmother because she thought it was what her grandmother wanted. Through it all Summer was happy but it may not have been as full or complete as it could have been or could be.

The first thing listed is for Summer to reconnect with her best friend Martin who had moved away in Summer’s youth.  He had been adopted but certainly not loved by the two biological brothers and the parents had left them to their own devices while living abroad with minimal contact.  Were it not for the sporadic contact from the mother or father, I would have thought that the unexplained, hasty departure was tied to the witness protection program. Alas, it was tied to a betrayal and still more untruths.  

The bucket list and the loss of her precious grandmother did allow for truth to be acknowledged and others truths to be discovered during the journey.

I would be remiss not to include some of my favorite lines.  There are many but I will include my top four favorites, with my favorite being the one on page 205:

Page 56   “Sometimes I think curiosity comes first. Then purpose might show up later.”

Page 173   “…it is better to err on the side of humility and be chastised for it than to be stingy with one’s confessions and risk wounding someone.”

Page 199   “Apparently there’s pain in the healing process.”

Page 205   “Summer gazed down at her grandmother’s frail hand.  …the veins were marks of wisdom and her hands, instruments of love.”

Thank you Anita Higman for another enjoyable read and please continue.  It seemed real and I could share in the lives of most of the characters. Even the brothers redeemed themselves. 

Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

Saying this is a memorable book is an understatement beyond measure. Learning of happenings from the perspective of the French was something I had not read in the same vein as in this great book.  Two sisters, quite different but yet the same, both in their endurance and completely separate accomplishments to something vitally important, that being the French resistance and saving Jewish children during WWII. It has adventure, danger, war related violence, redemption, and held my attention from the first page. This work of fiction is based on factual events and people.  This review may not do it true justice but of the 25+ books I have read this year, this is my favorite. 

The youngest daughter wanted to do something important in the war effort, had the heart of a warrior patriot, and minimized the thought of taking risks. She certainly did make a difference, experienced the rush of excitement, saved lives and was tortured in the process. The oldest daughter had a gentle soul and personally experienced a horror but to save her children and to live until her husband might return from the war, she endured. She may have killed one man and should have killed another. In times of war one cannot say what one would do or not do or what one may be capable of doing. 

They had the same father but could not understand the distant man he had become after the death of their mother. The choices that each of the sisters made is directly tied to the neglect of a man who did what he thought best at the time. He gave them up and placed them in a home to be cared for by strangers until they “aged out”, were kicked out of school (many times), or married which left the younger sister truly alone.  Please do not think too ill of him since he was participating in the war effort as well and needed to protect his daughters in the process. He loved his daughters in the best way he could and literally sacrificed himself in the process. 

  

The changes that death, all manors of death, created was paramount to the three of them.  It created and fed what was needed to allow them to endure the horrors and ravages that come with war and the necessary risk of life to save many, many lives of military airmen (British, USA, etc.) and then there were the innocent children.

Yes, bad things do happen to good people, some by the choices that needed to be made and some by circumstances over which one has little or no control.  Through it all I found the strongest thread of love, not the mushy kind, but that being the sacrifice of self for the life of others. That is “the” ultimate love which is extremely well written by an accomplished, much favored author.

The movie rights have been sold, thankfully for the non-readers and those of us who will make a point to see it. I will be breaking my own rule since it will bear the dreaded “R” rating which is appropriate for the violence, etc. and to maintain the integrity of this book based on actual events and real people.  I will for sure be making every effort to see this film. 

Thoughts and Requests this 2015 Thanksgiving

I have some thoughts and requests after sharing this quote: “The English word "crisis" is translated by the Chinese with two little characters; one means "danger", and the other "opportunity" by Jean Hough.”

Two years ago this month my mom had just returned home from the hospital for the second time in five months. What we were told during that stay was that she had and form of dementia, Alzheimer’s. This came as a shock, as one would expect. She was admitted with what was thought to be an extreme anxiety attack (shaking, not recognizing her surroundings or even her husband) and while there was treated for dangerously low levels of magnesium and potassium as well as physical therapy since her legs were so weak. She was admitted that previous June with similar symptoms and was diagnosed with thyroid deficiency.

The point of the quote is that even with this "crisis" in the health she had known and presented a new "danger" that this was also an "opportunity" for closeness within our family. Take the time to tell people how much you love them and appreciate the life that you have shared together. Share your life experiences and memories. Make new memories. Take pictures (lots of them). Give up the things that you have harbored because it is really your own interpretations of events anyway. Your perceptions are your realities but not necessarily true. Make amends. Be forgiving. Love the family that you are given. Make a difference while you can because there are no "do overs". It is not always someone else's fault. One is either part of the problem or part of the solution.  

In this season of Thanksgiving, please share your life with others freely, with honesty and integrity.  Do not be stingy with your love. Memories provide great warmth in the process of living your life and not just existing in life.  Spend your life wisely.

Yes, this message may appear long but my thoughts and appreciation for each and every person in my life are now longer and deeper. My mother has now been gone ten months and 20 days so my feelings are still somewhat fresh, close in thought and with precious memories. I will be forever thankful for being one of so many who shared in her life. 

My dad and a memorable moment

     He wasn't always the one to start a conversation BUT he was the one who explained "the facts of life" conversation to me on the night of my first date. Scared me half to death and I could hardly wait for that date to end so I could get back to the safety of home and the bedroom that I shared with my three siblings. It was many, many months before trying the dating game again. The calm encouraging words from my mother helped. However, I am clearly convinced that the choices I made for my life are directly related to his decision to have an uncomfortable conversation with me which had the full support of my loving mother.
     He was a WWII veteran who was fortunate enough to have served stateside, father of four children, and I miss our conversations. My dad  would have been 91 on November 13th. Happy Birthday to my dad who has been gone from this life for 21 years and who always had time for me and time to talk. 

My Mom would have been 83 TODAY

The best laugh came with a kind heart, an appreciation for life and leading by example. Her career goal was to become a wife and mother which she accomplished with zeal and zest for which I will be forever grateful. My love for my mother is without question and I miss her every day. She loved us enough to say NO, paddled our bottoms when needed and we certainly needed more than we received, and told us straight up when we were making a mistake as a child or as an adult. She shared her wisdom and I am the better for it.

Life started for her this day in 1932 so today would have been my mother’s 83rd birthday. I can clearly see her shining brown eyes with their twinkle of happiness when she was with any or all of her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She lived her life and encouraged each of her children to do the same. 

It has been four months and 22 days that she left us here which seems like forever and this morning at the same time. I was blessed with being able to be her caregiver until she required more care that could be provided at home. God worked it out for me to retire early and now I clearly understand the timing was not first and foremost related to my unhappiness at work.  It was so I could have some special time with my mother, my private time without outside interference from career or other people, and provide the attention that she so lovingly provided us as babies and small children.  It really is the same from feeding, bathing, dressing and diaper changes to other opportunities to help her sit up or walk or move to a wheelchair. I would do it all again  in a heartbeat and not change one thing. 

I saw this poem on Facebook which spoke to me and I am sharing it now. It is not meant to be sad but serves as a reminder that there are no “do overs”, do not wait for a convenient time, just make the time to be in the life of parents at whatever the cost to your so called personal life. You are not too busy and you are being selfish with your time. Share your life with those you love while they are here to know it and see it. The poem is called " THE CLOCK OF LIFE "

The Clock of Life is wound but once

And no man has the Power

To know when the Hands will Stop

At Late or Early Hour

So you live, love and toil with a will

And place no faith in tomorrow

For Then The Hands May Be Still

"A Question of Destiny" by Anita Higman

I just finished reading "A Question of Destiny" by Anita Higman. I believe it's her best book by far and I've read almost every one of her reading opportunities.

What would you do if you received $10 million from someone you never knew beforehand? Would you question accepting it or question the motive? How would you "allow" it to change you, your values and your relationships? Who would it bring into your life and new “available” lifestyle?  The good news is that in this book, unlike in real life, there are a couple of people who provide guidance and words of advice during this extreme learning curve. 

I must admit to appreciating every character in this book and their respective roles played in the difficult and for the most part fatherless youth through the financially enriched life of Lucy, the benefactor of the money. Lucy's bodyguard of sorts, Andy, has his own story which rings a truth similar to the media exploits of today. His story touched my heart even more than Lucy's. 

There is more than one story line in this book and each adds overall value. In fact, I am hoping for a follow-up on one of the characters in particular who on occasion shows more heart and tenderness within her earthly wealthy lifestyle and what appears to be a lost love and has/had volunteered in a worthy cause.

I am not generally a fan of romance novels but I do enjoy hers and make a point of reading them. No vulgar language or body stripping EVER. Yes, that's the way to my reading pleasure when it comes to any reading genre.

My Mother My Friend and My Memories

We were fortunate and blessed to have the Mother that God selected for us. I know that I will see her later and please allow me to share my thoughts.  First and foremost, the things shared below were applied to both my personal and professional life.  Any and all success I achieved was and is directly related to what I learned from my much beloved mother.  In fact a much appreciated award received so many years ago, I gave to her and it stands in a case in her home now. 

We were travel companions for about 30 years, as a single parent and then as married couples. She was my mentor, confidant, taught by example and not by words alone, the subject of some of my best memories with my sons, guided me and encouraged me to love again which is how I built up the courage to agree to date a wonderful man who  is now my husband Weldon McAdams, she taught me how to forgive whatever the wrong, she taught me independence, how to stretch a dollar but most of all she taught me to love others and find answers to any question in God's ultimate book of instructions and most holy word, The Bible.

While my mother was my best friend, her role as my mother was always the priority one chosen when a line might appeared blurred.  There is absolutely no subject that I didn’t feel could be had with her.   When something came up that needed to be discussed, I can assure you that it was my mother’s words that flowed from her lips: direct, clear and always with my best interest at heart.  Similar to what a friend would do but it really was quite different.  If you had or have such a mom you clearly understand what I am saying. 

My mother’s life and laughter were a gift that she shared with everyone and often. She told me that there is a time for talking and also a time for listening. She said that while one is talking they miss what is being said or shared by someone else who may really that particular time with you. Mom said to be available to help when needed, don’t wait to be asked but to volunteer and then do it, but be careful that you don’t become their crutch. My mother also said that some don't know when it's time to just shut up. Hence I have shared my heart for now in words and will be quiet with my cherished memories that will keep me warm for my lifetime.

 Make each moment count and don’t waste time. Make memories since at some point that may be all you have left. Make a difference in the life of others. Live your life and don’t just exist.