Note to self about 2013 family Chirstmas dinner

I write letters to myself when I am sad, disappointed or dealing with an upset.  So here goes….

Our family dinner was today and all went okay.  My son is the only one who lives away and could not be there to share in the family time on the date that was decided for this year.  He has one day off a week and his Christmas work holiday is Christmas Eve and Christmas day.

Perhaps some of them will drop by our home on Christmas Eve next week while he is here.  This is the first time in about 20 years that we have not celebrated as a family on Christmas Eve, hence my personal disappointment.

The “hostess” has both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day at her house.  I have New Year’s Day at my home. My oldest nephew (son of the hostess) has Thanksgiving dinner on the Saturday before Thanksgiving at his home. With these days in mind, I suggested that we alternate the location using my home every other year and that suggestion did not go well AT ALL.  I suggested that Christmas Eve be considered for next year so that Jason could at least attend every other year.  That suggestion was equally and firmly rejected.  She said “No, I want to have it at my house.”   Talk about “not playing well with others”.  Her reaction should not have been a real surprise but I at least thought that she would consider one or both of my offers.  Our mother and other sister wanted to alternate homes as well. We will just need to stay tuned for further (future) developments along these lines.  She must think that Christmas time is like Burger King, “she can have it her way”.

Oh well, my son said that as long as he gets to have time with me (his mother) and visit his grandma (my mother), that is the main thing that matters to him. What a perfect response.  I guess he understands our family dynamics better than me and has learned to adjust accordingly. It seems that the table has turned and I will now learn from him. Not a bad option.

Imagine that. I have been concerned about his not being able to spend time with the whole family and his primary concerns are his mother (ME) and visiting his grandmother.  I can totally live with that.