October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

When you see someone adorned with a Purple Ribbon this month, there is real significance to which one should be aware: October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. I have family and friends who have literally been “touched” by domestic violence.

Do not be fooled into thinking that this happens primarily outside of USA. Throughout the world 55% to 95% goes unreported to any governmental agency or women’s shelter and the statistics here alone are alarming.  Those abused return to the abuser numerous times before their successful/permanent escape by choice or chance. The cycle generally continues by those young boys who witnessed their parent’s domestic violence as they become the teenage boyfriend or husband or significant other (to use the 21^st century term). I am quite attached to this subject and have been involved with various shelters for about 20 years.  I am also the current President of WOMAN, Inc. which is a non-profit that creates permanent and transitional housing for victims of domestic violence. This organization is also working on a project to specifically include those exiting military service. Yes, our women in the military are also victims.

Please bear in mind these statistics that I have gathered over the years and public information available on numerous websites such as  http://domesticviolencestatistics.org *  and local women’s shelters. 

·         In the US, every nine (9) seconds a woman is assaulted or beaten

·         Around the world, at least one in three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.  Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family. *

·         Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually,*

·         Every day in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

·         Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.*

·         Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.*

·         Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.*

There are other factors to consider. The mental and self-esteem issues follow these women into just every other aspect of their lives and any relationship:  level of child care (from lax to desperately controlling or protective), work attendance (if she is even allowed to leave the house), working outside the home opportunities, depression, suicide, etc.  Many of the abused may consider it their fault that an argument erupted tied to the newest abuse; they think that they deserve the abuse, or that it will not happen again since another lame apology is extended. Some women even think they are doing their children a favor by saying with the abuser and that cannot be further from the truth. 

I could go on and on. The movie “The Burning Bed” comes to mind. I have not seen the movie but it is based on a real case and she was desperately afraid for her life.  You may say “How bad does bad have to be before women realize that other viable options exist?” Another phrase comes to mind “one cannot see the forest for the trees”. These women really cannot see or deal with anything but the moment.  Please do not say “just leave him” since they do fear for their lives and the lives of their children. 

Listen, don’t dictate, be aware and absolutely be available with the number of a shelter when the time comes and pray that their time comes to be safely rescued.  Some of these can be rehabilitated and I am referring to both the abuser and abused but neither is a quick process and comes with a low success rate and no guarantees.

It is worth the effort.  Absolutely!!!